Anything….. anything at all. These words have been staring at me for a while now. For more than a month, two months, six months or more, these words have been looking over my shoulder and waiting….. waiting for today. My facebook friends know I used to do these once a week, or so, but it’s been around a year or more since I’ve written one. I had something happen to me that I let knock the wind out of my sails. That I let stop me from writing. That I let injure my joy, my happiness and my hope. Let’s hope this is me turning the page on that chapter and moving towards a new beginning. #fingerscrossed
So here I am writing something and I hope it’s worthwhile or helpful to another soul or two that may be going through the same things I have been for well over a year now. And to be perfectly honest that year is more likely closer to four years and to be even more honest the number could be reaching double digits. I tend to think of seasons as they are prescribed on the calendar. Three months or six months or nine months, since here in the south they kind of run together. We don’t have much of a spring or fall and sometimes winter just puts in a half hearted effort at cooling things down. But as I was saying, I tend to think of seasons as times you go through that should last exactly just that… a season. Three months would be preferred, but I am really going on 10-12 years in my current “season”. No bueno. Not good at all. Some of it was self induced. People who know me may say most of it was. I will stick with saying some, as a lot of it was out of my control. But boy did I make some of the some, SOME!! << I hope that makes sense…at least a little bit.
So how do you get out of a season you don’t want to be in…. or are very, very, VERY tired of being in? I have no idea, but am open to suggestions. I did come close a couple of times. And while I have been relying on God to help me through life and my current “season”, more than once I put my faith more in a person than in God. And that’s why I’m here. Wandering in the desert yet again and parched for the living water. I hope it doesn’t last 40 years. At five years past the half century mark, I’m not sure I have that long. 🙂 I’m now going to answer the question I started this paragraph with. The answer is God. The answer always has been and always will be, God.
I feel the need to explain myself a little, because I have believed in God for a long time and my faith is as strong as ever. No…really, it is. It’s just skewed and out of whack a little bit or a lot, depending on your outlook. Again, I fully believe in God. I know He’s in control. Always has been, always will be.. He is God. And I believe that…….logically. But logically isn’t how you’re supposed to believe in God, is it? It comes in handy at times or seasons such as this to help get through them. It helps to remember everything He has done to get us this far in life, through good times and bad times. We all have them. I remember with gratitude the tough times He has gotten me through and also the miracles along my journey. Logically, is how I remember them. Logically isn’t how this thing works. Faith is. Logic is the brain, which isn’t a bad thing. Faith is the heart. Where every thing that matters is anyways. The wellspring of life. I feel the need to add a disclaimer here to state that if you’re putting your heart on the line in the love department, take the brain along with you. For God’s sake, take the brain with you. 🙂 Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. “We live by faith, not by sight.” “For it is by grace we have been saved, through faith…not from ourselves, it is the gift of God.” And “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” So while the brain and logic aren’t a bad thing, faith and the heart are the eyes we should strive to see with every day.
So here I am on another journey. A journey to see with the eyes of the heart again. My eyes. My heart. A journey with God and a journey in faith. My journey will be different from yours and yours different from others, although there may be common bonds, similiar sorrows and joys along the way. I want and need to be able to see and believe like I did as a child. To “become like little children” is how He put it. To be in wonder and awe at the great and mighty things our great and mighty God has done and continues to do every day. Every. Single. Day. They are there. You just have to look for them sometimes. But, to see them clearly, you’ll need to look for them with the eyes of the heart. Your eyes. Your heart. Take the journey, too. It will be worth it. I promise.
That is all for now. I am venturing, delving if you will, into this writing thing again as that is always where I’ve felt led. And in the truest meaning of the word delve, it will be an excavation process. Joy, happiness, hurts, fears and whatever else I may find may make its way to this page/blog/whatever the heck it is. I hope and pray I won’t be too repetitive. I pray it won’t be boring…. and I PRAY in the BIGGEST way possible I stick with it this time. I also pray I keep God first and foremost in whatever words find their way onto this page. His words and not mine.
I find it funny in the saddest, most ironic way that as we become older and “wiser”, we become less and less like little children as God intended. At least where it matters…..in matters of the heart. Other times, most of us act like little children quite often. << not a good thing. 🙂 Remember to remember, my friends. Remember the songs you once sang in Sabbath school. Jesus Loves Me…. He does, you know, the Bible tells me so. This Little Light of Mine… let it shine again. Rekindle the flame. The world has a way of dimming our light, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Unclench your fists. Open your hands (and your heart) and take hold of the gifts God has given you. You won’t regret it. Be like the Prodigal son. No…. not that one. The other one. The one that stayed home with everything at his disposal. Every good and perfect gift. The nicest clothes, the fatted calf, everything, but he didn’t use them as the Father intended. Instead, he choose to be bitter, to be jealous and envious of the attention given his brother upon his return. << But that’s another blog for another day. Again, remember to remember. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father…..who does not change like shifting shadows. Just open your hands and receive them.